TRIBUTE TO ANTHONY

The following was written in memory of Anthony Ferro and read at a candlelight vigil held by close friends in his honor. Anthony, a dedicated member of the Sol Yoga community, tragically passed away last Sunday in a car accident. He will always hold a special place in our hearts and in our minds.

“Anthony”

Anthony was a ball of fire. From his hair color to his intense commitment to the things that inspired him to his passion for life in general, Anthony’s energy in the room and in the world was palpable.

Anthony did things big. I often remember dragging myself into a yoga class at Sol some Saturday mornings, a little groggy eyed and feeling incredibly proud and productive that I had made it out of bed by 9:15am to do something good for myself - only to be greeted at the door with a big bear hug from Anthony wearing his orange fisherman pants telling me how he had just completed a 100mi bike ride earlier that morning and decided to come to yoga b/c he just felt like he needed a little bit of a stretch:)

I knew Anthony first as a fellow yoga student, then as a studio volunteer and later as a friend. Anthony brought the same zeal he displayed in his professional, academic and recreational life to his friendships. Always the first one to arrive early to a party with an unsolicited homemade dish; always enthusiastic to volunteer his very limited time to offer a helping hand; always the dedicated conversationalist when you needed encouragement or advice, Anthony was unabashedly devoted to his friends and the idea of friendship. This devotion made it so clear how cherished you, as a friend, were in his life. It made one feel gratified to be friends with someone who took friendship so seriously.

One of my favorite memories of Anthony, that I hope many of you here tonight will also recollect, is from our Sol Yoga staff retreat last winter. At a beautiful retreat house in Harper’s Ferry, about 20 studio volunteers and teachers gathered to relax, connect and brainstorm as a group. As you can imagine, the men at this event were massively outnumbered by the women and at first I thought poor Anthony and Nitesh would be swept away by all of the estrogen in the room. We practiced, om’d and chatted as a dominant female force, but when it came time to cook the large communal dinner, we all just starred at each other like deer in headlights. In true form, Anthony grabbed a wooden spatula, donned Alice his sous chef and started barking orders out to all 18 women in the room to chop, sauté, brown and bake. We all dutifully obeyed and before you knew it Anthony had orchestrated a fabulous meal for 19 very thankful people.

I loved Anthony. I loved his spiciness, his enthusiasm, his zest, his unbridled passion and his fire. I feel it is so appropriate that we have gathered here tonight to light these flames in his honor – to stand as a community to recreate the fire of Anthony’s life - the fire of a soul that burned nothing if not brightly.

Anthony loved the Sol Yoga community. Of that I am 100% certain. I know from things we shared with one another that he felt truly safe and at home here. So, I ask that in our practices in this space & in our hearts as we leave this room, we carry and honor what we knew of him with us, always.

We will miss you Anthony. Wherever you are tonight, I hope you can feel the love that exists for you in this room. I hope you can see our glow and hear our prayers. I hope that you are at rest. I hope that you have found peace.

A Simple Prayer

Our dear friend Anthony Ferro passed away nearly a week ago. A sudden accident took him all to soon. Or so we tend to feel - those left here on Earth. But what do we know? People get called back home everyday. Some before birth, some mid life and many in old age.


In all honesty, I've strayed from 'religion' as I've aged, but hardly from spirituality. An event like a sudden death of a young person, or the birth of a child reminds me of the reality of the life cycle. The reality that death is a part of our existence just as birth is. It is normal and ordinary, but hardly easy.

We miss Anthony. His loss has been hard. Its hard to see so many sad faces, to hear tears and to feel heartbreak. Its hard to grasp what has happened and why. And in times like these, we need help. We need our friends, our community, our family, kind words, and above all, a helping hand from God.

Dear God, please carry us during this time and give us the grace to accept the things we don’t yet understand. Give us the strength to support our friends and Anthony’s family. And above all, thank you God for giving us Anthony. May we celebrate his life and may he rest in peace.

Amen.

OPEN THE FLOODGATES

Do you ever have one of those moments where the enormity of your world hits you?? Sometimes its at a joyous moment like at a wedding. Sometimes its when you find out terrible news that you can't quite comprehend. Sometimes you are just driving in the car listening to a country song (written to make you cry) and suddenly you are overwhelmed with the beauty and love of your life.

I cry a lot. For better or worse, its not really something I try to hide. I cry when I am sad, when I get my feelings hurt, when I have to leave someone I love or when I love someone so much it feels like my heart is going to explode.

I had one of those moments today - the in the car one. It was dusk, I was in the car, the radio was playing a song about stopping and appreciating where you are b/c you will miss it one day and I burst into tears. Tears of joy, sorrow, regret, expectation, happiness, love, longing, hope and thankfulness. It was a cry for my whole life. A cry that continued when I got into the house b/c it was so big and as equally happy as sad that it all had to come out.

I know I am living a time now that I will look back on and smile about one day. Even with struggles and dramas, I know I am in a good moment in my life. I have a hunch that the struggles and dramas will softly fade into the background and I will remember things in wispy colors and smiles.

Yoga taught me how to look around and cry sometimes. It slowed me down, opened me up and brought out emotion I didn't want to feel. Now I am thankful when that emotion over takes me. It wakes me out of my sleeply autopilot mode that takes the richness of my life for granted. It sticks me straight in front of the depth of my human experience and it overwhelms me. But I am glad that it does.

A SIMPLE FORMULA

I went to yoga this morning and if I'm being honest, I have to confess that its been a while. I've done a tree or a triangle here or there and lots of deep breathing to get thru the day, but an honest to goodness class has not been in my life for a solid 3 weeks. My husband thought for sure i must be pregnant (i'm NOT) because I've been so grumpy and crabby, my body hurts so badly that i feel like i need xrays to make sure my bones aren't cracked and my mind has been about as dull and round and stuck in the mud as an old buried tire.

But alas, my brain feels like an open fire hydrant bursting with original thoughts, creative ideas and my god, INSPIRATION! As easy as turning on a switch, I feel ALIVE!

Could it be the yoga? Why yes, of course. I laugh at myself because I learn this lesson over and over and over again. It goes something like this: be disciplined (do yoga) and feel balanced. Then, get a little cocky about how balanced I am naturally, and fall into a lazy streak (or in this case, spend 12 months growing, having and tending to a baby). Finally, get so frustrated and out of whack that I am forced to put life on hold and get back on my mat. Its a simple formula: regular yoga = stable mood, healthy inspiration, supple body.

But since i'm being honest (isn't that what blogging is about anyway?), I must also confess that I wrote the previous three paragraphs hours ago and my post yoga buzz has all but worn off. Life called me back in the midst of my high. And while the inspiration isn't flowing at manic levels as it was back then (this morning), the lesson is learned: get your ass on your mat everyday!

(sometimes we need a little nudge, a little push out the door to get us back on the right track. and herein lies the beauty of having a community of comrades. thanks is in order for kristina and laura for inspiring me to make it happen this morning. god knows nothing is easy with a newborn dictating your schedule)

Dorcstock '08!

I'm all about traditions lately. I didn't know this about myself until recently though. I thought I was a commitment-phobe who avoided routine at all costs. While on a micro level this may be true, I have come to realize that on a macro level I am deeply wedded to tradition.

I had the chance to revel in a blossoming Frederick tradition this past weekend: DORCSTOCK - an evening of fire, food and fun hosted by the fabulous DQ McWilliams and her family. Candlelight, campfire, pumpkins, fall brew, mulled wine, friends, babies, moms, dads, soup, pumpkin bread and a sprinkling of tents pitched by the brave overnighters set the scene for Dorcstock this year. With a big sweater and some gloves on, I got to mingle with new and familiar faces. As the sun set and the night got colder, we all gathered around the campfire in a big circle on logs and borrowed chairs. To me gathering around a fire feels like the oldest and most natural tradition. Whether for warmth, roasting, song, dance or chat, fires naturally create a meeting place that mimics the circular nature of our dinner tables, our planet and our lives.

Dorcstock is a delight. Something to think about and look forward to throughout the year. Even though we gather with friends and family constantly, there is something fun about making it official; something exciting about picking a date, deeming it significant and seeing what happens.

Mark October 10th, 2009 on your calendars for next year's DorcStock!

Operation Fear

1) the feeling of fear is one of our primal, natural responses to a threat. It is not something that is easily controlled and it's easy to incite a fear reaction in most human beings.

2) once the 'fear' switch is turned on, our responses are rash, and without conscious thought. This is by brilliant design - when there is a real threat, there is only time for automatic reaction, not thought.

To my point: this years election seens to be a division of those who have been successfully threatened and are operating from a base of fear (and are starting to panic and threaten even more), and those that are still conscious (and have a propensity for hope).


We are quickly becoming a short sighted, reactive, fear filled society,which will get us nowhere but angry and filled with hate. My mantra until Nov 4th: Conscious, critical contemplation is crucial. Open your eyes and see fear for what it is. Open your heart and hear the cries of the world. Open your mind and seek solutions. Wake up and participate before our utopic country takes a nose dive into a term governed by fear.

Absorbing Autumn

I'm currently wearing a mis-matching assortment of vests, shoes and hats that are keeping me warm until I have time to pull out my proper cold weather clothes. My boyfriend who has been bugging me all summer long to slow down and take more time to stop and smell the roses, suddenly has a bonified home body on his hands. While my summer diet consisted of berries, salads, tomatoes and watermelon, I find myself excitedly searching for squash, pumpkin and soup recipes in my free time at work.

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but I can feel the whole shift in my body. I'm craving warmth, heaviness, rest and soothing. The end of summer is sticky and oppressive, by the middle of winter my whole body feel harsh and tired, but FALL...fall is another story entirely. For me, the smells, tastes and colors of fall speak to something I long for throughout the entire year.

My fall dreams include bonfires, my family, warm food, traditions, orange, red & brown, outdoor work, flannel shirts, snowboard shopping, crocheting, pumpkin patches, searching for the perfect sweater, warm blankets and hot tea.

Next weekend I will visit my nephew who will be experiencing the first fall of his 8 months of life. I can't wait to see him in overalls, talk about his halloween costume with my sister and watch his little cheeks get rosy when he plays outside. He doesn't know enough to dread the winter that is to come. All he is concerned with is the colors on the trees around his house and the fact that he gets to go outside as much as he likes. For all he knows, fall could be eternal. What a thought:)