Gotta Love How The Universe Works

I got up today, lit candles, pulled out my meditation cushion and immediately got annoyed.  I find that quieting my mind is easier if I'm been moving first or at least had some caffeine.  So I decided to jump on my treadmill and get cracking...

Naw.

I got on the Internet.  After reading a little about how the Democrats and Republicans can't agree on the right way to reduce our deficit (shocker), discovering that Melissa, a Real Housewife from New Jersey, allegedly had a lesbian affair when she was a teenager (so what?) and that Charlie Sheen is admitting to steroid use not while he was a professional baseball player, but when he played one in a movie (you call this winning, Chuck?), I remembered that I wanted to look up something about MS.

It turns out that Shemar Moore, the sexy star of one of my favorite shows, Criminal Minds, bikes not only for MS in general but specifically for his mother who unfortunately suffers from the disease.  I did a quick Google search and found an article about how many of the cast members  (Mandy Patinkin, Thomas Gibson, and Paget Brewster) and crew have created a Criminal Minds team that participates in 100 mile Bike MS events to raise money each year.

Turns out Shemar's mama and I have a lot in common.  Like not really dealing with the fact that we had this disease at first:

My mother’s been diagnosed for about 12 years now, and it’s been tough. It was tough on her physically and it was tough on both of us emotionally.  I think both of us were in denial in the beginning, so it took some time to kind of get out of the gate and really embrace that she had it. Then we could focus on what it was and how to combat it.

I'm guilty of this as well and will be happy to discuss this in a future blog post - just as soon as I figure out which of my neurotic buttons were so heavily pushed during the time of my diagnosis.  Hmm...Maybe someone from the BAU (the Behavioral Analysis Unit portrayed on the show, Criminal Minds) could analyze me?

Further along in the article it talks about how often times, folks with MS don't go to their doctors because they just assume every ache and pain is MS related (I'm definitely guilty of that as well).  Moore mentioned that there was a time when they thought his mom, Marilyn, was on the verge of losing her mobility.  Turns out it wasn't MS that was about to rob her of her gait, but hip degeneration that although may have been caused from the steroids she'd been taking to fight her MS, was easily remedied.  A hip replacement gave her her mobility back which freed her up to discover her love of yoga.

She loves yoga and swimming and visiting with friends...My mother used to go to a retreat called Kripalu, up in Lennox, Massachusetts. I think John Travolta and Woody Harrelson have been known to go there, where you spend a week, a month doing yoga.  My mother actually got her yoga teaching instructor’s license, so she’s fully committed and she loves it.  But physically, there are certain things she can and can’t do. Yoga really is a life-saver for her, though. It’s her meditation.  It’s her therapy. She’s got her mat at the house, and she sits with herself for an hour or two. Between that and swimming and being with her friends, that’s pretty much her routine.  She’s good.

Okay universe.  I got it.  Hitting the mat right now.

I'm not going swimming though.  One fear at a time, please.

Beyond The 21 Day Challenge

The 21 Day Challenge is slowly coming to an end this week.  Staff members were giving a month and asked to pick a 21 day time span to "do more yoga and see what happens".  Most have completed their journey, myself included, which leaves me to ask, "What's next?"

Before, I look toward the future, perhaps a recap is in order. 

Do More Yoga.  Check.  I did more yoga.  21 days of yoga.

See What Happens.  Check.  A lot happened.

Physically, I'm sore but I can reach things that I couldn't reach before, like having fingers that touch now when I attempt certain binds and I got further along in my quest to get into Bakasana than ever before.  My core strength improved as well. 

I stole a lot of great teaching ideas from all the teachers I've been taking class from.  I'm not going to lie.  I did it.  But hey, imitation is the biggest form of flattery, right?  Consider it a compliment if you notice something strangely familiar when you come to my classes.

But mostly, a lot of what happened, happened in my head and frankly, it's all jumbled up.  Here's a small sampling of the random thoughts that popped up over the course of 3 weeks?   
What the hell is up with my left leg today?  
Is she serious?  Jump from down dog into crow?   
I wish we could speed this up. 
Hello?  Can we slow this down a tad?
Cool song.  
Nice flow from Crescent Lunge into Eagle.  
Sweet adjustment.  
Maybe I should give more time for my students to explore their down dog?   
One more chatarunga and I might just collapse.  
Lets try knees down.
Lets try just heading straight to down dog.
Child's pose is probably best at this point.
That taco before class was a bad idea.  
Yes...half pigeon..give me 10 breaths, mama.  
Is that smell me?  Naw, it's her.  Nope, it's me.  Maybe it's him.  Oh hell, I don't know?  
Trikonasana - nice.  
I wonder where she got those yoga pants?
What the hell was I thinking picking this pair of underwear?  
Eagle crunches - are you shitting me?  
I survived Eagle crunches, I ROCK!
Is that shooting pain coming from my deltoid or lateral tricep?
Ice or heat? 
I'd kill for a hair tie right now.
This savasana is wild - I wonder if this is what a drug trip feels like?
How can that lady be 20 years older than me, but have the body of someone 20 years younger?
I think farts should be like sneezes and coughs - no harm, no foul (except the odor) - get back to the practice, genius.
I'm not mad that someone's phone keeps vibrating, but now I'm concerned.  The caller must be in some serious trouble to call every 30 seconds.   
Nice "OM" - was someone harmonizing?

Keep in mind, that was a SAMPLING! 

So what's next? 

Clearly, heading to the studio daily isn't an option right now.  My kids were annoyed.  Dinner time suffered.  Yet when I do yoga at home, it never feels close to how it feels when I take class at the studio.  The great part of going daily was that I was forced to take what worked with my schedule which forced me by default to get a variety.  No matter what class, style, type or teacher, I found that by simply being open to the experience, I got exactly what I needed, often times not realizing that I needed it until later.

When I pick and choose my yoga, based on preference, I think I miss out. My ego gets involved and I hit a flow class when I truly need gentle.  Or my fear gets involved and I avoid an advanced class when that's exactly what's missing.

I did more yoga only to realize that I need more yoga.  I also realized that it might be next to impossible for my practice to truly be a moving meditation instead of a freak show of constant mental commentary.  Maybe a quiet mind will never be in the cards for me and honestly, I'm okay with that.  Who knows, maybe the mental chatter that occurs during the practice is the outlet I need for my mind to be quiet and focus during the rest of my day?

So I guess, that's what's next.  Keep doing more yoga and keep seeing what happens!

Who's with me?