FEAR ITSELF

There is a famous quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt that reads, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” This quote is actually taken from FDR’s 1^st inaugural address and in its entirety reads, “let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance”.

That’s powerful stuff.

The only problem is I have never been able to truly relate to this quote. I have heard this adage quoted directly in speeches, referenced loosely in casual pep talks and have seen it hanging on decorative placards in offices, living rooms and schools for as long as I can remember. But each time I’ve tried to counter my ever fearful and hesitant nature with this universally accepted anecdote, I return to the same thought time and time again:

“Uh, fear itself seems pretty freaking scary and insurmountable to me”.

Two words stand out to me in FDR’s full quote. Those words are terror & paralyzes. This is what fear does to me and this is why FDR’s reasoning has gone right over my head for so many years. Fear breeds terror – real, panicked, flight or fight terror - which triggers paralysis, which stops my life cold in its tracks unable to face the thing I believe I fear most - FEAR ITSELF.

I had a chance to face one of my biggest fears this weekend – my fear that I am inadequate and as soon as I open my mouth everyone will know it. This ‘fear facing’ occurred while standing in front of a room of yoga practiconers with my i-pod plugged in, my class planned out, my fellow yogis in child’s pose waiting for class to begin and my brain telling me ‘you can’t do this, you must run out the door’.

But I didn’t run because I didn’t feel like it was really an option (had it been I probably would have) and I dove right in, head first, downward dog second into an awkward, exhilarating, disastrous, glorious experience of doing something that really, truly paralyzed me with fear. What I found is that with action my paralysis began to lessen. In the same way that yoga will loosen and open a body that has been dormant and inactive for too long, acting despite fear itself brought a more pliable quality to my normal deer in headlights reaction. Action, despite the presence of terrifying and paralyzing fear, allowed me to move through the sea of ‘fear itself’ and I had a brief, glimmering realization that fear is not a tangible barrier but rather a fluid, evaporating emotion that I can safely move through and come out on the other side safe, in tact and alive:)